


Coping:  Post Scene to Unleashed

by mulderette



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:09:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10915911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulderette/pseuds/mulderette
Summary: The team has to cope with all that has happened.  ***Spoilers for the season 8 finale***





	1. Chapter 1

Neither of them spoke as Deeks drove home, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding Kensi's hand tightly. Although they were happy with the promise of their own bright future, there was a huge hole in their hearts at what Sam had lost. Finally they arrived back at the house. Both of them were exhausted as they practically collapsed onto their living room sofa.

"Are you hungry?" Deeks asked, pretty sure she wasn't, but needing to ask the question anyway, just to try to establish a tiny bit of normalcy into what had been a horrific and harrowing two days.

Kensi shook her head. "No…why, are you?" she asked.

"No…"

"Earlier today, Nell asked me when we were going to be able to cry," Kensi said softly as she looked at Deeks, her eyes full of unshed tears.

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her when the job was done…when the bad guys were dead…"

"So, I guess it's time," Deeks said, his emotions clearly evident as he opened up his arms to Kensi. She gave him a loving look as she curled against his body and began to weep copiously into his chest. He held her tightly as he allowed his own tears to fall.

Eventually, Kensi's tears began to slow and finally she had cried herself out. "How is Sam going to be able to get through this?" she asked.

"He has Callen…" Deeks replied softly. "He has us…We'll help him…"

"Even so, Deeks," Kensi said. "They've been together for a long time and the children…especially Kamran…to have lost their mother…it's just so tragic… I just wish…" She trailed off, knowing that he wished the same thing she did…that they had discovered Michelle sooner…that they had gotten to her in time.

Deeks gently stroked Kensi's hair as she rested her head against his chest. He had no words...this was just something they were all going to have to get through, the best way they could.

xxxxx

The flight to the secure location where his children had been brought took less than an hour. Sam still couldn't believe Michelle was gone. He couldn't begin to know how to cope with such a thing and had no idea how he was going to get Aiden and Kamran through it. He truly wished he had killed Tahir when he had him in his clutches when he and Callen were in Eritrea. Having allowed that monster to live was the biggest regret of Sam's life…a mistake that had cost his wife her life and his children their mother. Finally, he arrived at the safe house. The agents who were outside gave him their sympathy and allowed him to enter.

"Daddy!" Kamran ran to her father as he came through the door and threw herself into his arms. "Daddy please tell me it's not true. Tell me mommy is really alive. It's a mistake, isn't it?" She looked up at him, her eyes pleading for a different outcome than the one they had been told.

"Dad?" Aiden went to his father, his eyes full of tears and unanswered questions.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry," Sam said, one arm around his daughter and the other reaching out to his son who came to him slowly.

"How did this happen?" Aiden asked, finally breaking down as Sam hugged him. "Why?"

"We'll talk about it later," Sam said, overcome by his own emotions and all that had happened. He wasn't even sure what he would say to them. He knew he had to soften the disturbing and vivid details, at least for his daughter.

"I want my mother," Kamran sobbed, clutching Sam desperately as she cried. "Please daddy, please bring her back. Please bring mommy home. We…we need her."

"I wish I could, baby girl," Sam said as more of his endless supply of tears began to fall. "More than anything, I wish I could…"

xxxxx

Callen sat in his chair, staring into the unlit fireplace, still trying to make some tiny bit of sense out of what had happened. He was at a loss as to how he could help his partner. He wanted to make it better for him…for his children…but he just didn't know how. There was a knock on his door and he quickly grabbed for his gun. "Mr. Callen?" Hetty's voice called out to him and he relaxed as she came in.

"Hi Hetty," he greeted her.

"Did you get your partner situated?" Hetty asked.

Callen nodded. "He's probably with Aiden and Kamran now."

Hetty nodded. "Good…good…" She then looked at Callen closely. "You look worn out."

"I'm sure everyone is," he said softly.

"But you've been trying very hard to keep your partner together…I daresay at your own expense."

"Me? I'm fine, Hetty," Callen said, forcing an unconvincing smile. "Sam's the one…he…" He bowed his head, unable to continue. He was trying very hard to keep his emotions inside and definitely didn't want to let go in front of Hetty.

"And how's your back?" She asked, concern evident in her voice.

"It's good…I'm fine..."

"I'd like to take a look at you, if you don't mind."

"I do mind, Hetty…I said I was fine."

"Prove it to me, Mr. Callen."

"Hetty," his voice broke, telling her all she needed to know.

"Come Mr. Callen. Go to your bedroom and lie down. I'm not leaving until I take a look at you."

He had no strength to fight her as he slowly got up from the chair. He was hurting much more than he would admit to. The explosion had taken its toll and he knew he would be sore as hell the next day. And his back…he was just trying not to think about that.

Hetty followed him to his bedroom. "Now sit on the bed and off with your shirt," she ordered him.

Callen rolled his eyes. "Come on, Hetty."

Hetty folded her arms across her chest and stared at him.

"Fine," he said as he slowly began to unbutton his shirt then proceeded to remove it, allowing Hetty to take a look.

"Oh Mr. Callen," Hetty said as she got her first look at the angry-looking dark bruise on Callen's back. "How can you tell me you're fine? You have to be in considerable pain from this."

"It's not that bad."

"Do you have ice in your freezer?" she asked him.

"Yes, Hetty…I have ice."

"I don't suppose you have an ice pack?"

Callen shook his head.

"Well…I'll find something to use. Now you lie on your stomach and make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back."

Callen did as Hetty asked, and stretched out on the bed. Once he had done that, his exhaustion began to overwhelm him and as it did, he began to lose the tight control he had been fighting to keep on his emotions since they had realized Michelle was dead.

"I put the ice in a plastic bag and wrapped it in a towel," Hetty said as she came back into the room.

He flinched slightly when she placed the cold pack on his back, but then relaxed as the coldness began to soothe it.

"There…that's better now, isn't it?" Hetty asked him.

He nodded. "Yeah…it is," he said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Hetty said. "Now, I'm going to go get you some ibuprofen and water."

"You don't have to," he protested, but she was already gone.

"Here you are," Hetty said, returning to his side a couple of minutes later. She sat on the bed beside him and handed him the tablets and then the bottle of water.

"Thanks."

"Crying is nothing to be ashamed of, Mr. Callen," Hetty said softly as she gently began to stroke his head.

"I…I know that, Hetty, but I'm not the one who should be crying."

"Of course you should be…you know and love Sam's family, don't you? Grieve for Michelle, Mr. Callen. It's the only way you're going to heal… It's not good to keep your feelings locked up inside.

Tired and overwhelmed by what had happened, Callen couldn't hold his tears back any longer. He buried his face into his pillow and cried, for Michelle, for her children and for Sam, his partner and closest friend. He wished, more than anything, that they could have been spared this heartbreaking loss.


	2. Chapter 2

"Nell?"

Eric walked into ops which appeared to be deserted. He didn't think she would have left yet, at least without saying goodbye, but maybe she had. "Nell?" he called again, trying one more time. He began to gather up his things to leave for the day when he heard it, the sound of a tiny sniffle. He started to walk in the direction he thought the sound had come from and then he saw her. Nell was curled up in a corner, on the floor, with tears streaming down her face. She looked so vulnerable. He went to her immediately and put his arms around her as she moved against him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "How can anyone be okay, Eric?" she whispered. "Sam will never be okay…his children…" A fresh sob escaped her. "I…I keep thinking about Michelle and what she went through. They sentenced her to the cruelest death possible…slowly dying, losing hope, knowing she wouldn't be able to see her children grow into adulthood, knowing Sam was going to have to carry on alone…It's just so awful…I don't understand how people can be so vile." She turned to face him. Then she buried her face into his chest.

"I know it's awful…I know…" Eric said softly. "We'll be there for Sam, Nell. We'll help him through this."

"We can help him Eric," she said, her voice small and sad, "but there's only so much we can do…things will never be the same for him." A part of her wondered if he would rethink having such a dangerous job. If anything was to happen to him, his children would be left alone.

Eric's face was now covered with tears as well, as he held Nell tightly against him. He had mostly been able to keep himself together throughout the day. He'd had to, they all had to, but now…now he supposed it was okay to let himself go. They were all going to have to let their emotions out, one way or another.

xxxxx

Hetty left Callen at about 3 a.m. He had finally fallen asleep and she hoped he'd sleep through the night. She had thought about staying with him, but had reconsidered, knowing he'd probably rather be alone after having lost control of his emotions. She was glad that he had though. She knew it was the best thing for him, whether or not he agreed.

When she arrived home, she debated on having a cup of tea, but instead went straight to her well-stocked bar and pulled out a bottle of Pappy Van Winkle, then poured herself a glass. She walked into the living room and sat down with the drink and took a small sip of the bourbon. "I have no idea if you're still with us here on earth, Owen," she said, "but if you're not, please watch over Michelle. We'll do our best to take care of Sam and his children." She sighed to herself as tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. Sam and his family had not deserved to suffer such a horrible fate. She and the team would do whatever they could to get Sam through this…she just hoped it would be enough.

xxxxx

"Good morning, Kens…"

Kensi opened her eyes and smiled at Deeks who was lying on his side, his head on a bunched up pillow so he could watch her.

"Why do you do that?" she asked him.

"Because you're the most beautiful person in the world and I like looking at you, especially first thing in the morning."

Kensi smiled, but it faded after only a few moments. "I was hoping to wake up and discover that everything that happened was just some horrible nightmare, but…it wasn't, Deeks, was it?"

"No…" Deeks' eyes clouded over and he sighed. "I'd say reality is going to hit Sam like a hammer today."

Kensi shook her head, trying to hold back tears. "I can't even imagine how he's feeling today, Deeks."

"I'd imagine he's going to experience every bad feeling in the book," Deeks said. "Anger, sadness, hate, guilt, helplessness…I don't envy him."

"No…" Kensi sighed softly. "I don't either. I wonder if we should call him today."

Deeks thought about it then shook his head. "Let's maybe wait until tomorrow."

"Okay," Kensi said nodding. "Do you think Callen will?"

"Yeah," Deeks said with a nod. "I'm pretty sure he'll see or talk to Sam today."

"That's good…Callen probably needs that as much as Sam does." Kensi was quiet for a few moments and then looked at Deeks, her eyes seriously. "So, Deeks…about what I asked you yesterday…"

He looked at her in mock horror. "Don't tell me you're taking back the proposal already," he said. "Really? It hasn't even been 24 hours."

"Of course not," Kensi said with a faint smile, "But…I really think we should keep this to ourselves for a while. I mean, Nell knows, but I'm going to tell her not to say anything."

"Of course," Deeks said. "I wouldn't even think of mentioning it to the team right now. I wouldn't want Sam…" he shook his head. "We'll see how he does and then figure it out."

"You know I can't wait to tell them, Deeks," Kensi said. "But now just isn't the time."

"No, it definitely isn't the time," Deeks agreed. "There's no rush though, right? I mean, we need to set a date and figure out what we want to do for the wedding, big or small, formal or something informal on the beach."

"Mmm… the beach sounds nice," Kensi said, "But you're right, there's no rush. It will all come together in time."

"We can tell Monty though, right?" Deeks asked. "I mean, he does live with us. I think his feelings would be hurt if we didn't."

"Yes, we can tell Monty," Kensi said, smiling. She was so glad she had Deeks in her life. He had the ability to make her feel better, even when they were surrounded by senseless, despicable acts and sadness. "I love you, Deeks," she said softly as she reached out and pulled him towards her.

"I love you too, Kens," he murmured, right before their lips met.

xxxxx

Callen slept through the night and woke at about 9 a.m. He turned in his bed and immediately groaned as he felt pain and stiffness in his right hip. Every time he moved, something hurt, his shoulders, his neck, his legs…especially his back. "Damn." He saw the bottle of water and bottle of ibuprofen on his nightstand and he reached for them gratefully, then swallowed down four tablets with some water. He wondered how Sam and the kids were doing. He wanted to call his partner, but he was going to force himself to wait until later. He didn't want to bother him, but he at least wanted to see how he was…he needed to check on him.

xxxxx

Callen stood outside the Hanna residence as he waited for someone to come to the door. He had called his partner earlier to find that he and the kids had returned home from the safe house. Sam had sounded subdued and sad. When Callen had tentatively offered to bring pizza over for dinner, Sam had accepted his offer, saying the kids would like to see him.

The door opened and Kamran stood there, looking up at him woefully. "Hi Uncle Callen," she whispered as she stood aside so he could enter the house. "I'm glad you're here."

Callen stepped inside, put the pizzas down on a side table and opened his arms to her. "Come here, Kam."

Kamran looked up at him sadly for a couple of moments and then went to him as the tears started. "I…I can't believe, mommy is gone, Uncle Callen," she said, sobbing as she put her arms around him. "I just can't believe it."

"I know, sweetheart," Callen said softly. "I can't believe it either."

"Hey, G," Sam said as he walked into the room with Aiden.

"Hi, Uncle Callen," Aiden said.

"Hi Aiden," Callen greeted him. "How are you holding up?"

Aiden shrugged. "It's not easy…"

"No…no it's not…"

"Why don't you two bring the pizza into the dining room," Sam suggested. "You can get some plates and drinks. We'll be there in a few minutes."

"How are you doing, Sam?" Callen asked after Aiden and Kamran had left with the pizzas.

"I won't lie…it's hard, G…" Sam said quietly. "The kids are just so upset and I keep expecting to see Michelle or hear her voice… Part of me doesn't even believe this has happened, you know?"

"Yeah…I can only imagine," Callen said.

"But let's not talk about it right now," Sam said as he forced a smile. "Come on…let's eat before the pizza gets cold." Sam slapped his partner on the back and Callen, not expecting the sharp bolt of pain that shot through him, inadvertently flinched. He quickly composed himself and started in the direction of the dining room before Sam grabbed his arm. "Hold up, G. What was that?"

"What was what?" Callen turned to look at Sam, his blue eyes innocent.

"You know what I'm talking about. You flinched, G."

"Did I?" Callen smirked. "I guess you startled me. Come on, Sam. I'm really hungry."

"Uh uh," Sam said, shaking his head. "You don't get startled, G… Seriously, did you get hurt in that explosion yesterday?"

"No." Callen shook his head. "I won't lie, my body's a little bit sore from it, but I'm okay. How about you?"

Sam stared back at Callen, skepticism written all over his face. "Let me see your back, G."

"What?" Callen asked with a half laugh. "Come off it, Sam. I'm fine. You don't need to look at my back."

"If there's nothing to see, it shouldn't be a problem."

"My problem is you don't trust me when I say I'm fine."

"Do I need to be worrying about you too, G?" Sam asked quietly. "Because if you don't let me see your back, I'm going to be imagining all kinds of things that could be wrong with you…"

"Sam…" Callen shook his head, cursing that he had flinched to begin with. First Hetty and now Sam. All of a sudden, his back was fascinating to everyone. He met his partner's gaze as Sam was still staring at him intently. "Fine, if you must know, I took a hit yesterday to my vest, but I'm all right. It's just a bad bruise."

Upon hearing that Callen had been hit, Sam's mind immediately conjured up a gruesome image of his partner, lying on the ground in a pool of blood, his eyes open and sightless. "You…you were shot? I…I left you…it would have been my fault…" He had been trying to protect G and the team by going off on his own. He'd never even considered that they could be in danger.

"Sam don't," Callen protested softly, shaking his head. He had never wanted Sam to know what had happened to him. He'd suspected he wouldn't react well to it, not after what had happened to Michelle. "I'm okay. There's no blame here."

"I can't believe this," Sam said, looking shell shocked.

Callen sighed heavily. "Please believe that it was nothing, Sam. My vest was hit. Just my vest. Like I said, I'm fine."

"No one thought to tell me that my partner was shot?"

"I told you, I wasn't shot. It's a bruise, Sam. A bruise. A paramedic looked at me and Hetty did, as well. I'm okay."

Sam went over to the sofa and slumped down on it dejectedly. "I should have been there..." His wife had died alone and G could have suffered the same fate.

"Come on, Sam…" Callen said as he sat down beside his partner and put his arm around him. "I'm fine, big guy…I promise you." He wondered how many times he would have to say it before it finally sunk in.

Sam turned toward Callen, his eyes filled with tears as he pulled him into a hug, being mindful to keep it very gentle. When he finally let him go, his tears were overflowing and streaming steadily down his face.

"Sam?"

"Don't you see, G?" Sam asked, overcome by his emotions. "You could have died… I could have lost you and my wife at the same time…I…I don't know what I would have done…"

"Come on, Sam…there's nothing wrong with me. You're not going to lose me."

"That's not the point. You were hit and you could have been hit somewhere where you weren't protected."

"But I wasn't."

"What if you hadn't been wearing your vest?"

"But I was."

"Hell, G…you could have been hit in the head."

"Sam stop," Callen said, more sharply than he intended, but his words had the desired effect as Sam did what he had asked and just stared back at his partner, looking somewhat dazed.

"Sam…I know you're going through hell right now," Callen said, his tone gentle as he spoke. "But, please, don't make it even worse on yourself. Don't worry about me. I'm fine. Let me worry about you for a while, okay? I just want to be able to help you and your kids through this."

"You're sure you're all right?" Sam asked, his eyes still full of obvious concern for his partner.

"I swear, I'm fine, Sam."

Sam nodded, trying to fight the 'what if' images still in his mind. "Okay…I guess we should join the kids then…"

Callen nodded as he got up from the sofa and waited for Sam to do the same. Sam was a wreck and he had just unwittingly made the situation worse on him. He was going to have to be much more careful in the future to be sure he was helping and not making things worse. In any case, he knew it was going to be a long road for Sam and his family to travel before they reached any sense of peace. He really hoped he'd be able to help them along the way.


End file.
